Monday, December 16, 2013

"Top of a Mountain or Top of a Hill for New Year's?"

Tetsu: "I'd like to go somewhere to see the sun rise on New Year's Day... maybe Mt. Takao?"

Ishi: "Seeing the sun rise in an interesting location would be nice, but getting into packed trains in the cold, and then walking around in big crowds throughout the night, freezing the whole time, and then standing in a big crowd on a very crowded mountain isn't interesting at all.  In fact, it's downright unpleasant and boring!  How about taking something to drink (to celebrate) and just walking up a hill in a local park?  That would be much more fun in total, since we'd not have to suffer all night in the cold and then suffer in the morning in a big crowd, and then suffer still more in crowded trains on the way home..."

Tetsu: "Oh, you're so boring and negative!"

Ishi: "No, I'm not!  I'm being positive, practical, and realistic.  You're suggesting suffering for a really stupid reason!  It will be the very same sun that rises over the parks of Tokyo as the one that rises over the crowded and unpleasant 'popular spots' that you foolishly want to participate in for no better reason than it's a 'popular' thing!"

Tetsu: "All right, that's it!  I'm not talking to you!  You're too negative!"

Ishi: "OK - I don't feel much like talking to you right now either, but I'm not being negative!  I'm being realistic!  I suppose if we were on the Titanic on April 15th, 1912, and I said, 'Look!  There's an iceberg!  We should do something to avoid it!', you'd say 'There you go again!  Always being negative!'.  You know what Tetsu?  In actual fact, you're 100 times more negative than I am!  You bend over backwards to be unhappy and always look for someone with more money, a bigger apartment, etc. to compare with and be miserable!"

[Tetsu storms off, Ishi shakes head.]


"Let's Watch a Movie!"

Ishi: "I don't suppose you'd like to see one of the Tora-san movies, would you?"

Tetsu: "Tora-san?  No thanks."

Ishi: "Well, you always say that, but what is it exactly about the series that you don't like?"

Tetsu: "It's kind of depressing - it never has a happy ending..."

Ishi: "Ah... well, some of them are like that, but some are actually fairly upbeat - like movie #19."

Tetsu: "What?!  Don't tell me you've memorized all of the movies in that series!"

Ishi: "Ha-ha!  No - I'm not that much of a fanatic, but I fairly recently saw #19 and and thought it was a lot of fun to watch."

Tetsu: "Hmmm... well, let's watch one next week maybe then.  I'd rather see something else tonight."

Ishi: "OK - then how about a Tsuri-baka movie then?"

Tetsu: "Ha-ha!  You're a big fan of that director, aren't you!"

Ishi: "Um, yeah, actually I am.  They're great movies.  They have interesting and fun story lines and don't resort to the action movie disease of needing to show death and destruction every two or three minutes.  Say - what is that director's name anyway?"

Tetsu: "Yamada Yoji"

Ishi: "Yamada Yoji... I'll try to remember that.  I can never remember people's names..."

Tetsu: "That's not so good you know... you should try harder to remember names."

Ishi: "Yeah... well....  Anyway - how about a Tsuri-baka movie?  Maybe #6 or so?"

Tetsu: "Why number six?"

Ishi: "I recently saw the first four or five and was hoping to see them in order..."

Tetsu: "OK, whatever.  Sure, why not - let's watch a Tsuri-baka movie then!"

Ishi: "Very good!  I'll get the cheese, peanuts, and wine ready!"

Tetsu: "What?!  You'll get doing that!"

Ishi: "..... But it's so much more fun watching a movie with something to eat and drink..."

Tetsu: "OK... suit yourself."


Friday, December 6, 2013

"Let's go see a movie!"

Ishi: "Hello there Tetsu!"

Tetsu: ........  [Cold silence]

Ishi: "Ah... stop being Ms. Antarctica and let's go see a movie or something!"

Tetsu: "A movie?  What did you have in mind?"

Ishi: "Ah-ha!  So you *can* still speak then!  Let's go see... I don't know - whatever is playing at that nice theater in Yurakucho!"

Tetsu: "OK"

Ishi: "Banzai!"


Friday, April 12, 2013

"Why Can't You Pull Money out of Thin Air?!"

Tetsu: "Why don't you have more money!"

Ishi: "Well, I'm trying to earn more.  The economy is bad..."

Tetsu: "Always blaming someone else!  You are the worst human being in the world!"

Ishi: [Pain in chest...] (Thinking: Yeah... thanks.  Thank you for being a compassionate person.  I appreciate it.)

Tetsu: "You have no dreams!  You never say anything!  You're boring!  I've never heard of such a horrible person!"

Ishi: "I have dreams and I have things to say, but you ridicule my dreams and aren't interested in anything I say!  It's really hard to talk to you!"

Tetsu: "I don't mean adolescent dreams!  I mean concrete plans to make money!"

Ishi: "Well I can't pull money out of thin air!  And I can't rob a bank - that's illegal!  When I do make some money, you ridicule it as being nothing, not enough."

Tetsu: "It's not enough!  Not nearly enough!  You are the worst person in all human history!"  Etc. etc. etc.  ..............

I wonder if the robber banksters realize the full extent of the pain they cause - directly and indirectly....


Saturday, September 8, 2012


石: 我輩オバケになったのかな? 鉄は、ムシしている。 話をかけると、丸で透明人間見たい。 いや、透明だけじゃない! 音を立てない透明オバケ! 寂しいなぁ、ムシされるのは...

Have I Become an Invisible Man?

I wonder if I've become a ghost.  If I try talking to Ishi, she ignores me as though I don't exist.  It's as though I've become an invisible ghost... an invisible ghost that can make no sound that Ishi can hear.  Why is this happening?  I have absolutely no idea.  I guess it's because I'm not rich?

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

皆ボーナスを貰う! 皆!! 70万とか!

鉄: 「皆ボーナスを貰う! 皆!! 70万とか!」

石: その時、「.......」を言いましたが、後ちょっとインタネットに見たら:

民間企業・製造業 361,000円 -0.9%(前年比)
民間企業・非製造業 479,300円 -0.7%

じゃ... 石の奴は、また大げさを言ったのか...、 年間か? まっ、どちにしても、この二十一世紀の会社は、正社員よりも、契約社員とかアルバイト見たいに人を使う。 それで、僕は、ボーナスを貰わないだから、すべて、僕が悪いと言う言い方は... ちょっとおかしいと思います!

Tetsu: "Most People Get Bonuses! Around Y700,000!!"

Ishi: I didn't say anything in reply to that, but the army of contract workers I saw - outnumbering the "seishain" (permanent workers) while I was at BigCorp - came to mind, and I thought "One reason companies hire ever fewer permanent employees is so they don't have to pay bonuses to the disposable employees!" - but of course I didn't say that. That would just be asking for more pain....

Later, I looked on-line about average bonus figures and noticed a couple of different figures (one Y361,000, and one Y479,300, referring to different industries).

Yeah... it must be nice to get a bonus, but I wouldn't know - and of course that makes me a bad, bad, bad person....

Etc., etc.

Friday, February 17, 2012


鉄: 「もっとスペースが欲しい。」

石: [ソズゾク... また始まるのか] 「スペース...?」

鉄: 「そう。 あなたの物が多いすぎる。」

石: 「.....................」

鉄: 「無駄な物ばっかり!」

石: 「.....................」

鉄: 「なにも捨てないでしょう!」

石: 「いや、色々捨てたじゃないか」

鉄: 「全然足りない!」

石: 「..................... じゃ、もっと物を捨てる...」

鉄: 「そして、アパートを徹底的にレアレーンレジにしたい。」

石: 「.....................」

鉄: 「例えば、冷蔵庫は、あっちに置きたい。」

石: 「なんで? 今の所は、一番いいと思うんだけど。」

などなど -

"What are we going to do?! - What are we going to do?!

Tetsu: "We need more space."

Ishi: [Oh no... here we go again.] "Space?"

Tetsu: "Space. You are taking up way too much space in the apartment!"

Ishi: "............................."

Tetsu: "Most of your stuff is just useless junk!"

Ishi: "............................."

Tetsu: "You never throw anything away!"

Ishi: "That's not true! I've thrown a lot of stuff away of the past few years."

Tetsu: "Not nearly enough!"

Ishi: ".......... Okay, I'll throw away more things then."

Tetsu: "I also want to completely rearrange the apartment."

Ishi: "............................."

Tetsu: "For example, I want to move the refrigerator over into that far corner."

Ishi: "Why? Where it is now is the perfect place for it!"

Etc. etc. -